greetings from limbo!
when last we met, many moons ago, i was bitching about cubicle life and all that it entailed. and now, you will be excited to know that i will now be bitching about the lack of cubicle life! yes, it’s true - the uninvited editor has officially transitioned to the unemployed editor. as you can see, my state of uninvitedness has grown! i try not to brag.
this is my first official day of idleness. i woke up early and wrestled it to the ground. i went for a run around the block at 9am. (yes, one block. believe me, it was plenty.) i put all my documents in order, donned my most pathetic outfit (so many to choose from!) and began the walk through my favorite sunny park to the unemployment office with a skip in my step. there were other people around, and they all seemed cheery. adorable children! crotchety old men who refuse to walk with canes! retirees playing tennis! various people like myself who should have been working! on the way i imagined this blog post, and realized that i haven’t been blogging because i feel that blog posts should a) be witty and b) have a point. at least, the old, gainfully employed me thought that. but no more! one need not be “witty” or “interesting” or “half-way lucid.” one does not need to have “a point.” that’s cubicle thinking! no, the new me can just “be”!!!
[this may well mean that the readership of this blog will dwindle from its present, oh, three, to about zero. great! that’s fine! i don’t need you and your judginess! get back to work!]
ANYWAY. when i got to the unemployment office, i was told that i had to come back at one, because “he” was about to go out to lunch. it was 11.30. wait, whuh? there’s ONE DUDE processing applications, in a freakin RECESSION? damn. that is lame. the guy said i was welcome to hang out in the meantime, and maybe do some job searching, and gestured toward the roomful of industrious jobseekers tapping away on their keyboards. that looked a little too much like work, and sort of depressing. it would totally ruin the temporary high of navigating this brave new world. so i figured i’d come back here and write about this exciting experience instead, before i lose my nerve and try to get “witty” again.
by the way, i totally know that i could do all of this unemployment stuff over the phone, or maybe even those amazing internets. yes, but then i’d have NOTHING to write about, would i? and THEN where would we all be? i shudder to imagine.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Well, for the record, I’ve bookmarked your blog. Always happy to read ramblings about nothing in particular.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:21 pm
well then you are most definitely in the right place.
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Okay, a few points:
1. Never underestimate the phone or internet. I have many fond memories of phoning in my unemployment claim while sitting on my couch in my underwear…maybe a little to much info, but still…
2. Your pathetic outfit…I would say it’s not pathetic but rather more, ahem, bohemian. Now, I’m not sure what bohemian really means, but, I would go so far as to say your fashion sense is more eclectic (shit, now I have to go to a dictionary site to find what I just said)…bottom line, whatever you may think about your clothes, WE (he said very judgemntally) decide what looks nice or not…okay, basically, you look nice, stop bitching.
3. The fact that you can post an erudite blog shows a lot. Wait…one more big word…I like your eponymous titled blog, a clever play on satire, sarcasm and self-deprecation.
4. Alright, one more big word…BIG, wait one more…ENORMOUS…okay, I could go on, but Im going to stop.
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 pm
ah but see, there’s method to the patheticness. if i were to wear one of my fabulous, perfectly coordinated outfits, they would never believe that i could possibly fail to get a job tout-sweet. this way, when my claims come in week after hopeless week, they’ll be like, “yeah, figures. who’d hire a girl who such horribly chipped toenail polish?”
September 4th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Toenail polish: the ultimate employability indicator.
It is strange that they only have one person processing claims—Ron worked at the unemployment office during the end of the ’80s recession, as they were the only people hiring. Sometime in the early 90s, he got laid off from the unemployment office. Oh, the irony. “Please step to the other side of the desk, sir.”
September 9th, 2008 at 9:48 am
So how is it that I didn’t know about this before? And can I expect updates more often than yearly? The people in Big Little Town crave entertainment and these here inter-webs are about all we’ve got.
All this talk about blogs having a point is somewhat concerning given my general subject matter. Hrm, no wonder you’ve stopped commenting…
September 9th, 2008 at 9:48 am
My comment is awaiting moderation? How fascist is this blog?
September 9th, 2008 at 10:01 am
yes, the vainglorious em em must anoint ye good around here.